Newspaper Clipping(s) of the Day, Christmas Edition

December 29, 1888, via British Newspaper Archive.  Note that this "Christmas Number" features
two cases of murder.

I don't think anything symbolizes the Strange Company Spirit of Christmas quite like that lazy and not-quite-right-in-the-head blogger's best friend, the "Illustrated Police News."  Let's spend this Christmas Eve with some images from that august publication that provide a heartwarming glance at some memorable Yuletides from the past.

To start with, here is a "Christmas frolic" that, frankly, looks like an illustration from "Fifty Shades of Gray":

December 31, 1898

"Upstairs, Downstairs" IPN style.  Yeah, I think we can all agree which group seems to be having the most fun.

January 1, 1898

Let's face it, haven't we all wanted to do this to carolers?

January 8, 1887

Ah, the good old days, when you couldn't go to Christmas church services without constantly stumbling over seduced-and-betrayed ladies clutching their pitiful, starving offspring.

December 31, 1898

Soldiers celebrate the holiday in their army barracks by cheerfully beating the crap out of each other.  Naturally, this being the IPN, it doesn't end well.

January 8, 1887

Of course, murder was a favorite pastime at civilian Christmas gatherings as well.

January 4, 1896

The posh parties used pistols, but the more plebeian gatherings settled for saying it with their fists.

January 9, 1892

Burglars found themselves joining in the holiday fun, too.

January 9, 1886

If your fellow guests didn't do you in at Christmas parties, the decorations surely would.

January 4, 1896

January 9, 1897

And, finally, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without cozy scenes of prison, the workhouse, and doomed castaways.

December 28, 1878

  

Happy holidays, gang.  May you not have an Illustrated Police News Christmas.