The following are the most relevant extracts from a pamphlet published by the Reverend Alexander Telfair in 1695: "A true relation of an apparition expressions and actings of a spirit which infected the house of Andrew Mackie in Ring-Croft of Stocking, in the paroch of Kerrick, in the stewartry of Kirkcudbright, in Scotland." It is a fascinating account of what we today would call one particularly destructive poltergeist.
Telfair prefaced his narrative by expressing his reluctance to appear "in print, to the view of the world." However, his modesty was overcome by "the conviction and confutation of that prevailing spirit of atheism and infidelity in our time, denying, both in opinion and practice, the existence of spirits, and consequently a heaven and a hell; and imputing the voices, apparitions, and actings of good or evil spirits, to the melancholic disturbance or distemper of the brains and fancies of those who pretend to hear, see, or feel them."
In other words, Rev. Telfair was anticipating our modern world's insistence that alleged paranormal activities are "all in your head," and blowing a big raspberry.
After providing a long list of local worthies who were ready and eager to attest to the truth of his story, Telfair begins:
Whereas many are desirous to know the truth of the matter as to the evil spirit and its actings, that troubleth the family of Andrew Mackie in Ringcroft of Stocking, and are liable to be misinformed, as I do find by the reports that come to my own ears of that matter, Therefore that satisfaction may be given, and such mistakes may be cured or prevented: I, the minister of the said Parish (who was present several times, and was witness to many of its actings, and have heard an account of the whole of its methods and actings from the persons present, towards whom, and before whom it did act) have given the ensuing, and short account of the whole matter, which l can attest to be the very truth as to that affair.
In the month of February, 1695, the said Andrew Mackie had some young beasts, which in the night-time were still loosed, and their bindings broken; he taking it to be the unruliness of the beasts, did make stronger and stronger bindings of withes and other things; but still all were broken. At last he suspected it to be some other thing, whereupon he removed them out of that place; and the first night thereafter, one of them was bound with a hair-tedder to the back of the house, so strait that the feet of the beast only touched the ground, but could not move no way else, yet it sustained no hurt. Another night, when the family were all sleeping, there was the full of an back-creel of peats set together in midst of the house-floor, and fire put in them; the smoke wakened the family, otherwise the house had been burnt; yet nothing all the while was either seen or heard.
Upon the 7th of March there were stones thrown in the house, in all the places of it, but it could not be discovered from whence they came, what, or who threw them: after this manner it continued till the Sabbath, now and then throwing, both in the night and the day, but was busiest throwing in the night time.
Upon the Sabbath, being the 11th of March, the crook and potclips [implements for cooking pots]were taken away, and were a wanting four days, and were found at last on a loft where they had been sought several times before. This is attested by Charles Macklelane of Colline, and John Cairns in Hardhills. It was observed that the Stones which hit any person, had not half their natural weight, and the throwing was more frequent on the Sabbath, than at other times: and especially in time of prayer, above all other times, it was busiest, then throwing most at the person praying. The said Andrew Mackie told the matter to me upon Sabbath after sermon; upon the Tuesday thereafter I went to the house, did stay a considerable time with them, and prayed twice, and there was no trouble: then I came out with a resolution to leave the house, and as I was standing speaking to some men at the barn-end, I saw two little stones drop down on the croft at a little distance from me; and immediately some came crying out of the house, that it was become as ill as ever within, whereupon I went into the house again, and as I was at prayer, it threw several stones at me, but they did no hurt, being very small: and after there was no more trouble till the 18th day of March, and then it began as before, and threw more frequently greater stones, whose strokes were surer where they hit: and thus it continued to the 21st.
Then I went to the home and stayed a great part of the night, but was greatly troubled; stones, and several other things were thrown at me. I was struck several times on the sides and shoulders, very sharply, with a great staff, so that those who were present heard the noise of the strokes: that night it threw off the bedside, and rapped upon the chests and boards as one calling for access. This is attested by Charles Macklelane of Colline, William Mackminn, and John Tait in Torr. That night, as I was once at prayer, leaning on a bed-side, I felt something pressing up my arm, and casting my eyes thither, perceived a little white hand and arm from the elbow down, but presently it vanished: it is to be observed, that notwithstanding all that was felt and heard, from the first to the last of this matter, there was never any thing seen, except that hand I saw, and a friend of the said Andrew Mackie's said he saw as it were a young man, redfaced, with yellow hair, looking in at the window; and other two or three persons, with the said Andrew his children, saw, at several times, as it were a young boy, about the age of 14 years, with gray cloths, and a bonnet on his head, but presently disappeared; as also what the three children saw sitting by the fireside.
April. 3. It whistled several times, and cried wisht, wisht, this is attested by Andrew Tait. Upon the 4th of April, Charles Macklelane of Colline land-lord, with the said Andrew Mackie, went to a certain number of ministers met at Buttle, and gave them an account of the matter; whereupon these ministers made public prayers for the family, and two of their number, viz. Mr Andrew Howart, minister of Kells, and Mr John Murdo, minister of Corsmichael, came to the house and spent that night in fasting and praying : but it was very cruel against them, especially by throwing great stones, some of them about half an stone weight. It wounded Mr Andrew Ewart twice in the head, to the effusion of his blood, it pulled off his wig in time of prayer, and when he was holding out his napkin betwixt his hands, it cast a stone in the napkin, and therewith threw it from him: It gave Mr John Murdo several sore strokes; yet the wounds and bruises received did soon cure.
There were none in the house that night escaped from some of its fury and cruelty: That night it threw a fiery peat among the people; but did no hurt, it only disturbed them in time of prayer: and also in the dawning, as they rose from prayer, the stones poured down on all who were in the house to their hurt: this is attested by Mr Andrew Mewart, Mr John Murdo, Charles Macklelane, and John Tait.
Upon the 5th of April: It set some thatch straw in fire which was in the barnyard: At night the house being very throng with neighbours, the stones were still thrown down among them : as the said Andrew Mackie his wife went to bring in some peats for the fire, when she came to the door she found a broad stone to shake under her foot, which she never knew to be loose before: she resolved with her self to see what was beneath it in the morning thereafter. Upon the 6th of April, when the house was quiet, she went to the stone, and there found seven small bones, with blood, and some flesh, all closed in a piece of old suddled [soiled] paper; the blood was fresh and bright, the sight whereof troubled her, and being afraid, laid all down again; and ran to Colline his house, being an quarter of a mile distant: but in that time it was worse than ever it was before; by throwing stones and fire balls, in and about the house, but the fire as it lighted did evanish: in that time it threw an hot stone into the bed betwixt the children, which burnt through the bed cloaths.
Upon the 9th of April, the bones were sent to the ministers, who were all occasionally met at Kirkcudbright, they appointed five of their number, viz. Mr John Murdo, Mr James Monteith, Mr John Mackmillan, Mr Samuel Spalding, and Mr William Falconer, with me, to go to the House, and spend so much time in fasting and praying as we were able.
Upon the 10th of April we went to the house, and no sooner did I begin to open my mouth, but it threw stones at me, and all within the house, but still worst at him who was at duty: it came often with such force upon the house that it made all the house to shake, it brake an hole through the timber and thatch of the house, and poured in great stones: it gripped, and handled the legs of some as with a man’s hand; it hoisted up the feet of others while standing on the ground, thus it did to William Lennox of Mill-house, myself, and others; in this manner it continued till ten o clock at night, but after that there was no more trouble.
The 16th it continued whistling, groaning, whisling [whispering], and throwing stones in time of prayer; it cryed Bo, Bo, and Kick, Cuck, and shook men back and forward, and hoisted them up as if it would lift them off their knees. This is attested by Andrew Tait.
The 20th it continued throwing stones, whisling, and whisting with all its former words: when it hit any person, and said, Take you that till you get more, that person was sure immediately of another; but when it said, Take you that, the person got no more for a while. This is attested by John Tait.
The 21st, 22nd, 23rd, it continued casting stones, beating with staves and throwing peat-mud in the faces of all in the house, especially in time of prayer, with all its former tricks. The 24th being a day of humiliation appointed to be kept in the parish for that cause; all that day, from morning to night, it continued in a most fearful manner without intermission, throwing stones with such cruelty and force, all in the house feared lest they should be killed.
The 26th, it threw stones in the evening, and knocked on a chest several times as one to have access; and began to speak, and call those who were sitting in the house witches, and rakes, and said it would take them to hell.
Upon the 27th it set the house seven times in fire. The 28th, being the Sabbath, from sun rising to sun setting, it still set the house in fire; as it was quenched in one part, instantly it was fired in another: and in the evening, when it could not get its designs fulfilled in burning the house, it pulled down the end of the house, all the stone work thereof, so that they could not abide in it any longer, but went and kindled their fire in the stable.
Upon Tuesday's night, being the 3rd of April, Charles Macklelane of Colline, with several neighbours, were in the barn; as he was at prayer he observed a black thing in the corner of the barn, and it did increase, as if it would fill the whole house; he could not discern it to have any form, but as if it had been a black cloud, it was affrighting to them all; and then it threw bear chaff and other mud upon their faces, and after did grip several who were in the house by the middle of the body, by the arms and other parts of their bodies, so strait, that some said, for five days thereafter they thought they felt these grips: after an hour or two of the night was thus past there was no more trouble. This is attested by Charles Macklelane, Thomas Mackminn, Andrew Paline, John Cairns and John Tait.
Upon Wednesday's night, being the 1st of May, it fired a little sheephouse; the sheep were got out safe, but the sheep house was wholly burnt. Since there hath not been any trouble about the house by night or by day. Now all things aforesaid being of undoubted verity, therefore I conclude with that of the Apostle, 1 Pet. v. 8, 9, "Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist, steadfast in the faith.”
Telfair could offer only one possible explanation for why the Mackie household was so bedeviled:
"Whereas one Macknaught, who sometimes before possessed that house, did not thrive in his own person or goods. It seems he had sent his son to a witch-wife, who lived then at the Routing-bridge, in the parish of Iron-gray, to enquire what might be the cause of the decay of his person and goods. The youth, meeting with some foreign soldiers, went abroad to Flanders, and did not return with an answer. Some years after, there was one John Redick in this parish, who, having had occasion to go abroad, met with the said young Macknaught in Flanders, and they knowing other, Macknaught enquired after his father and other friends; and finding the said John Redick was to go home, desired him to go to his father, or who ever dwelt in the Ring-croft, and desire them to raise the door-threshold, and search till they found a tooth, and burn it, for none who dwelt in that house would thrive till that was done. The said John Redick coming home, and finding the old man Macknaught dead, and his wife out of that place, did never mention the matter, nor further mind it, till this trouble was in Andrew Mackie's family, then he spoke of it, and told the matter to myself. Betwixt Macknaught's death, and Andrew Mackie's possession of this house, there was one Thomas Telfair, who possessed it some years; what way he heard the report of what the witch-wife had said to Macknaught's son, I cannot tell; but he searched the door-threshold, and found something like a tooth; did compare it with the tooth of man, horse, nolt [cattle], and sheep, (as he said to me), but could not say which it did resemble, only it did resemble a tooth. He did cast it in the fire, where it burnt like a candle, or so much tallow; yet he never knew any trouble about that house by night or by day, before or after, during his possession."
